Go Deep

December 23, 2016

I’m sitting outside at my new table, under the new deck, at my magical new home. It’s been raining for more than 12 hours and for the last two I’ve been sitting outside, all bundled up, listening to the rain. The way it splashes against the trees, plants, and the rattle of it pounding our roof deck. It feels like one magical Costa Rican morning. It all seems too good to be true, really.

It’s been a crazy month and today is the first day I have really had time to sit down and muse about the meaning Christmas gifts I can buy the people in my life. Time just flies by and we have not purchased any presents yet. Does that make us horrible people? I hate thinking that, but seriously, buy, buy, buy has been ingrained in our minds since birth.

Consumerism has led us down the rabbit hole. We drank the tea, ate the blue pill, and had a little too much cake. We’ve been bamboozled, mind fucked, hypnotized, we are asleep. Do I need to go on?

I might be getting a little too deep here, but I’m just amazed at what is happening in the world right now. There is so much insanity going on, what a crazy time to be alive right!

We own smart phones that are smarter than the computer that took NASA to the moon. We have phones that can teach us a college education. You can learn anything you want. All you need is a smart phone and some wifi. It’s mind blowing and I can’t be alone when I say, I often take technology for granted. It’s an absolute miracle we have access to the information we do and can communicate with people almost anywhere in the world.

As I sit in here in solitude, The air is crisp, hands are pretty frosty. The wind is misting my face with rain and the wind chimes are melodically tinkling behind me. I breathe deeply, and gratitude fills my heart.

I pondered about the year that is about to pass me by and how hard I have worked to sit where I am sitting right here right now. It’s been a beautiful and painful year! It’s been about going deeper, deeper than I have ever gone before.

I asked myself many hard questions and I came face to face with a lot of truths I did not know before. I evaluated my relationships with the things and people in my life, and I had to let some of them go. People grow apart. It’s ok.

Some people are in your life for a few minutes, a couple of days, months, and often many years, but when they don’t really add anything of value to the person you are striving to become, it is time to make a “big girl” decision and gently take back your bandwidth, your power, your life.

People can be poison, they can suck the life right out of you and they’ll do it without you even knowing it. By the time you wise up to what is happening, something inside you is lost, the light you carried has been used up! So naturally that you have a hard time seeing things clearly. And sometimes you stay in the haze for way too long. 

It’s time to wake up my friends! Take your power back, be ruthless! You have to replenish the supply of light and the only way to do that is to LOVE yourself, love every bit of yourself , and that often requires getting rid of the people who pull you down.

I know, ya ya, it’s hard. Transformation is not sitting on a couch watching reality television, but this is your life, and if you don’t make some tough calls, life will make ‘em for you. ,

Letting people and things go is not easy, we are attached. Addicted to the pain, the stress, the guilt, but listen ladies, the only thing you should be guilty of is not becoming the person you are meant to be.

You are number one, it’s you that you need to be looking out for, and if people don’t serve  the values and beliefs you hold dear, then wish them well, it’s time to go, forward ladies, onwards and upwards.

It’s a new year my beautiful friends and there is no time like right now to claim a life you love from the inside out, not the inside in. Go deep, the answers are there waiting, waiting for you to finally listen.

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